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Decoding Auctions

Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:06 am
by Western
What these terms mean:

1. Classic - We are charging twice what this thing is worth.

2. Truck Gun - This gun looks like it was cleaned in a drying machine with a pound of playground sand.

3. Winter Project - This shot out thing is missing parts and dangerous to boot.

4. Highly Collectable - Don't shoot it unless you enjoy picking metal out of your face.

5. Shooter - My son carved his initials in this thing with an acid stencil.

6. Rare - Only twenty of these things are listed for sale right now.

7. Probably - Fat chance. As in "this gun was probably issued to French Paratroopers at Dien Bien Phu", or "this gun was probably used to kill Bonny and Clyde."

8. Gunsmith Special - Not a chance of this thing ever firing again.

9. Wildcatters Dream - It fires a cartridge only used in one weapon seventy years ago and manufactured for two years by an Iowa bullet manufacturer who also makes plows.

10. Desirable - Notice no one ever says undesirable? Usually means totally ordinary, such as "desirable high serial number Springfield M1 with Korean export markings and CMP stamp."